Thursday, March 11, 2010

Vaccination, All I Ever Wanted

Howdy do!  I hope everyone is doing fine this Thursday evening.  This morning I was rather unsure how my day would play out, but it's been much more pleasant than I expected.  I can now head into my weekend feeling relaxed and happy. 

If I could shrink you and put you in my pocket all weekend, this is where you would go:


10:30 am - take the dog to the vet for the first time since I got her 2 years ago.  It was hard to admit to the girl who set our appointment that I had been so neglectful.  She said not to worry about it.  Boy was I glad to hear that!  I was afraid I was going to get some sort of animal activist punishment, like maybe a letter with pictures of neglected animals smeared in dog poop and hand delivered by Sarah McLaughlin.  The letter would be smeared in dog poop, not the animals, by the way.  I guess I misplaced my predicate or something.  Now, I'll bet you're thinking to yourself, "while this story is captivating, what does it have to do with bagging a man?"  Funny you should ask.  Remember the Dogtopia indoor playdate meetup group I joined?  Well we can't partake in any of the fun until Maggie has all of her shots.  Also, this fabulous weather has inspired me to try a visit to one of Raleigh's many dog parks.  (Oh, now I get it!  Vaccination, all I ever wanted.  Like the Go-Go's song Vacation, except she said vaccination 'cause she's taking her dog in for shots!  How clever.  Where does she come up with this stuff?)

12:00 pm - get my hair done.  I can't decide if I want to grow it out or keep it short.  I like it short, but I need a change.  I've been sporting this do for about a year now.  Maybe I could just do short a different way.  I'll look at some pictures online later.  Whatever I choose, it must be sexy.  Or at least super cute.  Ok, I'll settle for not butch.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that!)

2:00 pm - mother/daughter yoga workshop with my 14 year old.  I can't believe she's dragging me to something so lame!  Like, how totally embarrasing!  What?  Oh, that's right.  I'm the one dragging her.  Well, so what.  She's leaving me in 3 short years.  We need to bond a little.  I think it will be fun!

7:00 pm - now we're off to my friend Tanya's house.  Care for a little bitty cocktail?  Here we shall prepare for an evening out on the town.  This is my first time out since my divorce where there has been no mistaking that the mission for the evening is to talk to men.  None of this "I swear, I'm only out to have fun with my girl friends!  I am totally too secure and aloof to spend any time trying to get attention from boys."  Nope.  This time it's me and a couple of wing-nuts.  I mean wing-women.  There will be ring checks, accidental bumps, and no crossing of the arms, which I understand fom my studies is the universal sign for "back the &$*# off, buster, or you're liable to take one in the crotch."  And not in a good way.


2:00 am (actually 3:00 am - don't forget to spring forward this weekend!) - tumble into a cab and head back to Tanya's to sleep it off  recap our night out over a nice cup of tea.

8:00 am - yeah right.

11:00 am - do a little internet refresher on Their Eyes Were Watching God (can you believe the library didn't have it?)

1:30 pm - head off to my very first book club meeting.  It's at some Starbucks in Raleigh.  Ahh, there is nothing quite as satisfying as discussing classic literature while sipping on a breve with an extra shot of here goes nothing.  Maybe I should get an extra shot of positive thinking instead?

It's all downhill from there.  Every Sunday night I have to tell myself "at least I have my health" or "there are thousands of kids in China who would give anything for a Sunday night right now, so quit your bellyaching before I give you something to bellyache about."

So in conclusion, I encourage all of you to make the very most of your weekend.  Do whatever you want, just this one weekend.  Take lots of naps, eat an extra dessert, go for a run, catch a movie with your best friend, have one too many glasses of wine, whatever it is you want.  It's okay, I am giving you permission and I don't know if you know this, but I'm a pretty big deal.


  1. I'm so glad you cleared up the title of today's blog in the body of it. Despite how clever I really think you are, what I was really thinking was, "Vaccination, all I ever wanted?? WHY does that sound SOOO familiar and what the hell could it possibly mean???"

  2. It's what we in the biz call a "hook." Consider yourself manipulated by the mass media, girl friend.

  3. I got it right away...used to love me some go-go's! and, by the way- you had me at "smeared in dog poop"!!!
    ...and 2:00/3am, really? I thought you said you were going out w/
    lastly but certainly not leastly, thanks for the invite girls jk-kinda

  4. Melanie, do you want to come? Really? Cause I would LOVE to have you out with us!